Surgery Date

Well, I just got my surgery date today.  February 27th.  All of a sudden it seems so "real" and I'm very nervous, but I'm sure that's normal.  I told my boss and I got the "Are you really sure you want to do this?"  Ugh.  I know she just cares about me.  I don't think I'm going to tell anyone else (other than my husband & kids) for a little while.  I still need time to process all of this. 

How did you feel when you got your surgery date?  Mixed emotions?  Second guessing? or just pure elation?

Living in New England...

Huge victory tonight for our Patriots!  What a nail biter of a game though.  Let's hope they don't cut it so close at the Superbowl!!  Now I'm watching the Giants game and rooting for them.  I'd love to see a New England vs. New York Superbowl especially since we have family in New York.  Oh the rivalry! 

As far as the weather goes, we were doing so good until this past week, but I guess we should be lucky we dodged the snow for as long as we did.  It's just so much work... shoveling, plowing, throwing down the salt and sand.  The snowy white picturesque scenery doesn't last long before it's all a big dirty, slushy, muddy mess.  I'm just counting down the days until Spring.

I've been trying to watch my diet this week, but I really blew it this weekend.  Lots of bad choices, but I'm not going to beat myself up over it.  Tomorrow is a new day.  I already packed my lunch to bring to work tomorrow and I picked up some more crystal light packets to make sure I drink my water.  I need to get back to the gym since I don't like walking outside once the snow comes. 

Well, have a great week and enjoy the rest of your Sunday night!

Mindful Eating

I’ve always inhaled my food and it’s a habit I’m determined to break.  I’m trying to eat slower and it’s not as easy as you’d think.  Mindful Eating.  Have you googled “mindful eating”?  There are an amazing amount of resources dedicated to this. 

I want to adopt this concept, but eating has always been a social thing for me.  My favorite time of the day is dinner with my family when we’re all sitting around the table enjoying a home cooked meal and talking about the details of our day.  How can I talk and listen to my husband and kids when I am focused on every bite I put in my mouth?   I’m not complaining - I’m just trying to figure out how to make this all work.  Until I address the obstacles, I’ll never overcome them.

Mindful Eating.  How do you enjoy a dinner out with friends?  I can’t listen and count in my head how many times I’ve chewed my food.  Is this something you work on until it becomes second nature?  Does it get easier with practice?  Has anyone mastered this? 

Today, I tried to eat my snack, cottage cheese & crushed pineapple, slowly and mindfully.  I did great for the first few bites and then the next thing I knew it was gone.  Seriously.  It was completely gone.  I felt like an alcoholic who blacked out.  I really don’t remember eating the rest of it. 

Please tell me this gets easier.

Mean Girls...

I have an 11 year old daughter that I call “Peanut” and I do my best everyday to be a good role model for her.  So far, I think I’ve done a pretty good job.  She and I watch a lot of what I call “trash TV.”  I can’t help it.  If there’s a Real Housewife around – I have to watch her.   I can spot a Kardashian a mile away.  I love this mindless, silly drama.  Don’t judge me. 

So, Peanut and I watch these shows together and it leads to all sorts of conversations about girls and friendship and also a lot of examples of “how not to behave.”   I’ve explained to her that while I think these shows are silly and mindless and sometimes the behavior of these women is downright horrifying, I find it terribly entertaining. 

Now, I live in a cul de sac.  I’ve lived there for about 14 years.  It’s a great neighborhood filled with lots of Moms with loads of kids around the same ages.  It can also be a neighborhood filled with drama, petty nonsense and sometimes bad behavior.  On TV this is entertaining.  Real life?  Not so much.

One of the women in my neighborhood had WLS a year ago and there is this one woman who has not had a kind word to say about it (not that anyone has asked for her opinion).  Mind you, she didn’t like her much to begin with, but some of the things she said were downright mean.  She also began posting things on Face book about losing weight with dieting and exercising “the old fashioned” way.  Yes, we’re all Face book friends.  It’s terrible. 

Most of us have just ignored it, not wanting to get in the middle of it, but I think it’s like bullying at this point and we’re all supposed to be role models for our children and I feel like I’ve really let myself down – not to mention the woman who’s been on the receiving end.  Also, I’ve started this WLS journey and haven’t breathed a word it for fear that I will be her next target.  I don’t know what to do.  I don’t want to get mixed up in something that doesn’t involve me, but at the same time it feels wrong to sit back and watch.  This isn’t the BRAVO or E! Channel.  It’s my neighborhood. 

Preparing...

While I'm waiting for my next round of appointments in this WLS journey I've been doing lots of different things to prepare myself for the changes ahead:

• Logging daily food, exercise, water and vitamins
• Reading loads of WLS blogs
• Sampling different types of protein
• Eating slower with lots of chewing (this is a tough one!)
• Not drinking during meals (another tough one!)
• Giving up the diet pepsi (so sad...)
• Searching for some calcium citrate that isn't disgusting (haven't found it yet!)

What did you do to prepare? 

I started out with the intention of getting the lap band, but after talking with my surgeon she suggested the gastric bypass.  I spent a couple of months trying to figure out which way to go and in the end I'm going to go with the bypass.  I keep having 2nd thoughts about the whole thing, but I think that's just fear or cold feet.  Did you have 2nd thoughts?

About Me

So, a little bit about me.  I’m 41 (gasp!) and a Mom of two kids - a pre-teen girl and a teenage boy.  I’ve found that you can learn a lot about yourself when raising children.  Some of it isn’t pretty.  I’m happily married (most of the time) to my best friend and biggest cheerleader.  He thinks I’m beautiful, lets me beat him at scrabble and makes the best sandwiches ever.  It doesn’t get better than that, ladies!  I also have a fluffy, adorable Lhasa-Poo that is extremely unfriendly.  We call her Cocoa and some of my friends call her Cujo.  I think she’s just misunderstood.

I’m starting this blog because I am embarking on a huge life change and think this will be a good outlet for me to document my journey and share my experience.  I am going through process of getting approved for weight loss surgery.  I’ve gained a lot of knowledge and insight from so many blogs over the past year while researching this.  Maybe someone will benefit from my story and journey.

I went to my first info session in November, 2011.  As of today, I’ve met with my surgeon, nutritionist and psychologist.  Everyone has been amazing so far.  I still have a ways to go.  I need to drop 10lbs. and have my 2^nd round of appointments with everyone. 

For the record, the last time I was “thin” I was 12.  Even then, I think the thighs may have rubbed a bit.  Oh, the thighs - I’ve never liked them.  Anyway, once I hit puberty the pounds just packed on.  I wasn’t obese, but definitely overweight during those teenage years.  During college, I gained a bunch more weight.  Mind you, at that point I had already tried Weight Watchers, Diet Workshop, Richard Simmons, and various workout facilities.  All this before I was even 20.  As the years went on, my weight went up and down (but never came anywhere near my goal).  I found my soul mate and king sandwich maker in 1995.  I was 25 and he was 35.  He loved me unconditionally and still does.  So, a couple of kids later and many, many more failed attempts in the weight loss arena and here I am.